I hope your Christmas was filled with food and friends and family and laughter and enough alcohol to make it through without screaming. Mine was, and for that I’m really thankful. I helped Daddy host 23 people today for Christmas lunch at his house. It went as well as it possibly could. A little hectic in certain moments, minimally awkward, lots of leftovers.
And now, it’s almost 1am. I know it’s because of all the emotions of the day, and because I’m exhausted, but I miss my Mom so terribly I can hardly breathe. I missed her all day yesterday, when I was working in the kitchen, by myself, no idle chatter or “can you pass me that cutting board” to keep me company. I’ve missed her all month, as we planned out the menu and the seating arrangements. I missed her when I was trying to decide if it was really okay to skip the tablecloths this year and just use the runners and cloth napkins. I missed her when the third relative said “How about I bring sweet potato casserole?” and I couldn’t figure out how to say that it was already covered. I missed her when we were Christmas shopping, this was the year of “the perfect gift for mom”. But now that the meal is over and the leftovers packed away it’s all crashing down on me.